Dating Guide Part 3: Approaching The Recently Single One
July 21, 2015 1060 Views

Dating Guide Part 3: Approaching The Recently Single One

Men. Whether it’s the Antarctic, an oil well or a newly-single female, we’re all in a desperate rush to claim ownership. You’ve had the hots for someone in your outer friend circle for a while but they’re quite the serial monogamist (that in itself could be a warning…). They’ve been with someone you know of, so you have mutual friends, but they’re sufficiently distant that you don’t feel overtly awkward. Or do you? What are the rules about this kind of thing? Further, you know for a fact, owing to a sworn-to-secrecy snog at a house party 4 months ago (when she was still with her guy) and a few seriously-suggestive comments by her at gatherings since that she’s a fan. Minefield! Luckily Social Concierge’s Nana called in to help us get a sense of the situation:

 
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Nana. Loves Retro Pop-Up Restaurants and The Rebound, apparently…
 
 
 
 
Giving them space after a break-up is THE WRONG THING TO DO. The rebound phase is sorely misunderstood by most. While we enjoy these moments of total liberation, we’re not as doggedly obsessed with a period of “freedom from the shackles of a relationship” as men are. Plus we’re infinitely better at socialising than men. Which means, providing we wanted the break up, it is highly likely we’re filling our calendars right now with events where single men will buzz around like flies. To have a hope in hell, you need to make a move within the week, in a fairly concentrated manner.
 
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Turns out it’s not “Not a chance”, it’s “Note lack of ring on finger”. The amount of opportunities we’ve missed…..
Having recently experienced this very scenario, here’s how the long term crush sealed the deal:
 
1. Invite her out with your best friends/parents/mentor/closest whoever and show an immediate desire to have her in your inner circle.
2. Shower her with attention and open declarations of an intention to pursue her now single. Flowers are not too much.
3. Cheekily open her iCal and block out days she’s seeing you over the next fortnight – every day
4. Make the first kiss count and the first bedroom session all about her
5. Follow up with a shameless note about ‘making up for lost time’ – it was written in the stars
 
And don’t, whatever you do, tell her you understand if she wants some space. Don’t plant that seed, you need to carry the conviction for both.
 
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Male attention please. There’s only so much Mascara-On-Back I can handle…..
 
We’re intrigued. So we’re off to Social Concierge‘s dinner date @ Sake No Hana this thursday to see if we can..erm…catch some rebound? Watch this space…
 
 
Nana Wereko-Brobby runs London’s dating members’ club Social Concierge. Follow her on Instagram at dateconcierge

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