Dating: An Expert’s Guide
June 16, 2015 1211 Views

Dating: An Expert’s Guide

Dating.

It’s the same as all the other ongoing wars for finite resources. It requires an awful lot of high-end intel to make it effective. Which is a problem. The majority of men’s magazines out there have dating advice columns that stretch as far as “Make Her Climax, Every Time”. Which is great, but it’s perhaps assuming too readily that you’ve managed to get her number.

Meanwhile, the rise of various dating sites and apps have certainly sped up the process of meeting someone for anyone who by their mid-20s has exhausted their social circle, but these services remain like drone strikes: brutally effective at identifying targets, but not particularly good at building up rapport.

Traditionally, when it comes to matters of dating: tips, advice, how-tos, protocol, men have gone for the time-honored approach of asking their mates. It may be noted this same time honored approach started the Russian Revolution, World War 1 and Reality TV.

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‘It’s all comrades, and revolutions, and Bolshevik ambushes. He’s never ONCE texted to ask how my day went’

 

It’s time for action. The Male Report is launching a regular series within The Man Guide on dating. To do so, we’ve called in an expert.
Nana is the owner of London based matchmaking service The Social Concierge….

the dating club (6)

Yes, we are planning on using all Nana’s advice, to attempt to seduce Nana. We’ll keep you informed on how that goes….

The service is part members-club, part dating agency.  Anyone can join, however those who do so are interviewed by Nana herself and matches are made personally. Oh, and their monthly social events are held at some of London’s top nightspots. As a result of her day job, Nana is possibly the most informed individual in the UK on the tactics of dating – specifically, what we men get right, and what we get wrong. She’s now going to be our expert go-to on the following series of articles on How To Do Dating.

Part 1:

How To Do Dating: The First Approach

 

There, she is. Standing by the photocopier / bar / kitchen at the house party. You’ve fancied her for at least ten months/ minutes and you can bear it no longer. You promptly neck your coffee / pint / vodka-and-wtf, stride across the floor, all the while maintaining direct-yet-unthreatening eye contact and introduce yourself, opening with….uh….what, exactly?

 

The Girl In The Office:

 

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Walking straight up to her desk and introducing yourself may be considered a bit forward. Particularly if she works from home…

Office romance is a complicated one. The confines of your workplace become their own little universe with super-heated politics. Part boredom, part proximity, everyone often looks that bit more attractive, that bit more tempting. It’s also hard to ascertain by subtle means whether or not the subject of your less-than-professional daydreams has an other half out in the real world. Then, of course there’s the need for subtlety. Overstating your intentions could have you mercilessly mocked for months to come. How then, to approach the co-worker? Some expert tips:

Nana:

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I have first hand experience (twice over) of what works and what doesn’t. Essentially it requires the patience of a monk, combined with a drip torture technique. After an initial spark has been established – and both you know it’s there – you’ll have to go down the old friendship road for a good few months to establish a ‘safe’ ground. Less than 6 months and you’re likely to end up with a quick fling that turns awkward. Longer than that and you will have, perhaps against your will, cushioned yourself in a faux friend-zone. Don’t be giving them love advice, but do chat about work and try and advise on problems. Next, the attack phase. Start inviting them out for early week drinks. A Thursday is still too obvious. Try to gauge when they are working late and coordinate schedules. Then suggest something to take the edge off. All you had to do now is establish a pattern of post work hangs – every Monday we go to bar X to share a bottle of red. Naughty. After a few of these, a bond of intimacy will have formed but no kissing will have been done. Then wait till the next big life event (birthday, work event, sales conference), get silly drunk, confess actual ‘feelings’ and go in for the kiss. It’s a long game but if you think it’ll pay out in the long term, the most important thing in this  situation is PACE.

Up Next: The Girl At The Bar

 

The Social Concierge  is a private-members-style dating club. It’s all about personalised service and matchmaking that involves humans, not apps. Interested? Check it out here

 

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